I just had a dream and woke up feeling uncomfortable. I've had similar dreams dozens of times. In the dream, I was in my twenties and had gone back to repeat my senior year. My twenty-something self felt out of place among the high school students. The teacher touched my head and said, "Why do you have so little hair?" I was thinking to myself that I was already in my twenties, but I didn’t say anything. My face and body are no longer those of a teenager. I felt anxious and pained. I feel guilty about the phrase "not wasting youth" because I didn’t realize the importance of studying at that time, as I was born into a low social class and didn’t study hard enough. If my life had gone smoothly, what would my situation be now? I should be in a research institute or in Europe and America, surrounded by people of a much higher social class, living a happy and carefree life. I’ve been having this dream of going back to senior year since my freshman year, and I must have had it at least 50 times. After achieving financial freedom, this is the first time I’ve had such a dream again. I might have forgotten about this dream, but today it came back to me.

If you are about my age or even older, many things from the past are beyond our grasp. If you don't work hard when you're young, you'll only regret it when you're older. Now the crypto circle is our battlefield. Back then, you worked hard in your studies, which means you didn't waste your youth. Now, holding on tightly and making money means you are still not wasting your youth. Why? It's because you always look down on the people around you, which is a result of not studying hard when you should have, leading to a lower circle around you. You think others are fools, but in reality, those fools are just like me; I equalize myself with them. A person cannot only have money; they must also have power, social connections, and happiness. So, what do I have to think about? The latter three are basically impossible to have again. And what about money? I got lucky; God saw me as too pitiful before and only rewarded me a bit. I haven’t spent it recklessly; I’ve always lived a normal life. When I didn’t have money before, I encountered high school students while playing basketball, and I said I would trade everything I have for a chance to go back to high school. Now, I don’t dare to say that anymore; it’s just cowardice. Don’t say that if I had another chance, it would be better. Even if I had ten more chances, I would still be the same; my level is just like this, and no one should blame anyone else; it’s all my own fault. I flipped through old photos from eight years ago, and due to years of anxiety, my whole appearance has changed. Talking about it brings tears.