"I approached you because I wanted to get Alpha."

"If there can be other friendships, that would be an added bonus."

Since last year, because of these words, I started to not want to share anymore.
It seems that many people's establishment only exists because you need me.
And why do I need you?

It sounds a bit arrogant, but actually not.
Just refocusing my attention on myself.

Are altruism or sharing necessary for me?

Gradually, I do feel that I don't know how to return those friendships I once thought were real.

It turns out that we might all be built on emotions that are not truly needed.

I have worried about my coldness and indifference, but that is also my way of protecting myself.

I really overestimate that everyone genuinely wants to be good friends with me.

After entering society, you need chips; if you're strong, you can do your thing, if you have nothing, you're easily replaced. It's simple. Practice more, and you'll get used to it.

I am very clear that my funeral doesn't need friends to participate, and I am satisfied with that this year because I can truly accept that I am no longer afraid of being alone.

All of this is only possible because I have truly come through it, and I dare to say it now.
I still don't need anyone's company or disturbance.
All these pats, hugs, and baby talk are just words on paper to me, with no real weight.

I also know I have changed. Maybe it's because I am getting older. Wahahaha 😆